The expatriate partner – part 2

In the expatriate partner – part 1, I wrote about the joys and concerns of a move to Italy as seen through the eyes of an ex-pat partner.
Much has been written about expat moves to a new country and their experience in coming to terms with their new life. A typical description often begins: "Expats and their families…" This, however, does not do justice to the fact that each family member’s experience is unique and they undergo culture shock in quite different ways.
The "working expat", though coping with a new job and new life, at least has the support of work colleagues and company systems. Their pressure often comes from trying to balance the needs of a strange and demanding job with helping their partner who has been at home all day and is in need of adult conversation and a social life.

The partner (whether male or female) is often the "rock" for the family. It is the partner who is at the front line in terms of establishing home, family life and supporting the kids. They have often given up jobs in their home country and have the added stress of coming to terms with a new role which can mean a drop in status and independent income.

To work or not to work?
Being away from home is often a great opportunity to do something entirely different. This could take the form of a new career, training, fulfilling a life goal or spending more time with the family and enjoying Italy.

What others have done
Everyone, of course, has different ideas about the best way to spend 2-3 years in Italy and it is always interesting to see what other people have done. In some cases new activities were carefully researched, planned and carried out but more often they fall into the category of "right place, right time – seems an interesting thing to try".

Roughly speaking there are three main categories:

	Work and career
	Training or learning a new skill
	Extracurricular activities

Work and career
Finding a job in Italy is like finding a job anywhere: it takes perseverance, luck and a good network (apart from talent and skills, of course).
As an expat partner you have the advantages of:

• Mother tongue English (all international companies and increasingly more medium sized companies are looking for employees with good English).
• Good possibilities of teaching English - language lessons from mother tongue English teachers are very popular in Italy at the moment. Where you live is important. It is a lot easier to find work in areas where there are many companies with international markets e.g. Northern Italy, Rome etc. It is much less easy to find work in Florence where there is a high number of foreigners and a great many highly qualified mother tongue English teachers.
• You have the advantage of already being in Italy so an employer looking for someone with international experience doesn’t have to pay expensive relocation allowance. This is a big advantage for short-term contracts.
• You may have specialist skills that are in short supply in Italy.
• You are here for a short time, which could be a good match for a company that needs your skills for a limited time. Even multinational companies may find it easier to hire you knowing that you are leaving in three years!
• You have a good network at home. Could this be useful to an Italian company wishing to do business there?
• You may be more flexible about the type of work you do. Clearly the more flexible you are the more likely you are to find a job.
• You can easily use the Internet to search or apply for jobs. Check out the British chamber of commerce (www.britchamitaly.it) or expat websites e.g. www.easymilano.it or www.intoitaly.it for a start (there are many others – it is worth doing a search)

• You probably don’t speak much Italian. Even in international companies a surprising amount of business is carried out in Italian. Learning Italian will crucial to your ability to find employment. Try total immersion training to start learning fast.
• You don’t have a network of Italian contacts. Much of Italian society and business is based on personal recommendation. When an Italian chooses an electrician he is more likely to phone a friend for a recommendation than look up the yellow pages. Joining ex-pat organisations is a good way of building a local network.
• Local companies may find it difficult to compare your qualifications and experience to the Italian system and rather than take the risk they will employee a local. For many professional qualifications you can get them referenced to the Italian equivalent. Alternatively you could try a more radical approach… A top English chef who recently came to Italy with his wife had difficulty finding employment. Finally he offered to work in a good local restaurant for two weeks for free. The owner (spotting a no lose situation!) agreed and was so impressed that he hired him after 2 days. The English chef now has a phenomenal knowledge of regional cuisine and the Italian restaurant has gained from the Englishman’s considerable international experience.

Training and learning a new skill

• Studying Italian language is an obvious and useful occupation and there are many reputable language schools that organise individual or group courses.
• Many study for a degree or postgraduate qualification via e.g. The Open University ( www.open.ac.uk). They run English speaking distance learning courses leading to a wide range of degrees including BA/BSc, MA/MSc and MBA. The contact for Italy is Jane Pollard tel. 0039028138048. E.mail J.Pollard@open.ac.uk
• Many expats enjoy the best of Italy and became experts in Italian cuisine, art, history or culture.
• It could be the right moment to learn a skill such as sailing, rock-climbing; skiing, painting interior design…the list is endless. I know of one partner who learnt to sail and went on a series of sailing trips around the Mediterranean, another who took up diving and has since dived at the Great Barrier Reef.

Extracurricular activities

• A number of people use their time to carry out charity work. This is a great way to integrate locally and improve your Italian. Ask the local priest or neighbours or alternatively contact your local expat group e.g. the Benvenuto club in Milan (an English speaking club for women www.benvenutomilano.net) which helps a number of charities in the Milan area.
• In another example a senior manager in a large company took a year out to de-stress and try for the baby that had so far eluded her. A year and half later she had a baby girl. She has since returned to work and is balancing family and career.
• Another partner followed a life’s dream of backpacking in Australia for 3 months. Her husband joined her for the final month on holiday.
• A father who had seen too little of his two sons when working in a demanding job in the city of London decided to use his two years in Italy to spend more time with them. He was amazed how much he learned and how much he had been missing!

I will finish on my two favourite expat partner stories:
In the first one an American wife convinced a US magazine to publish a series of articles she wrote in which she described her and her family’s experience of living in Rome. It was the beginning of a new and successful career in journalism.
The other is about an Italian who moved with her family to New York. So many people asked her about "real Italian cooking" that she organised classes in which a group of people visited her house twice a week to watch her prepare dinner for her family. Legend has it that she became so famous that she got her own TV show!

Other Articles: Surviving culture shock in Italy

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